Backward Steps

 I abruptly ended the last post as we were leaving to go to a park where I could walk DanaRiley. I thought I’d be able to walk her around her but outside of their lawn area, the roads have stickers and DanaRiley had some in her pads the other day. So we went to the vacant sports complex and walked, ran my car through a car wash to get rid of some of the 5000 dead bugs on the window and front bumper, and we picked up a salad for lunch from Wendy’s. 

Yesterday, Alene wondered aloud how it came to be that I was at the FF with her. If you read my first post, maybe you remember that she asked me to spend the summer here with her. I reminded her of that and she was stunned and remembers no part of those early conversations. But she believed me and we both laughed and said “crunch crunch” (her brain crunching).

Well today she wanted to pay for the Wendy’s salads but didn’t bring her purse.  So I told her she could pay when we pick up a salad on our trip to California. She looked at me and slowly said “I’m going to California?” I told her yes, we’ve talked about it for months. I reminded her of the plan to go to Denver the end of next week to spend a few days with her son Greg and his wife Lisa before we get on the road to SOCAL. She was stupefied. She asked if Abbey knew and I said of course. So we called Abbey and they talked for a few minutes and Abbey reminded her that she’s already packed for CA and she’s gotten some cash from the bank for the trip.  Alene has zero recollection. I was upset and disappointed for about 30 seconds  I reminded myself that she has this horrible affliction and can’t help it. 

She asked me awhile ago how old she is. When I answered, she said “how do you remember and I can’t?” I said, “you have dementia” and she said “oh yea, crunch crunch”.  Breaks my heart  

I’m learning that with a dementia patient, there will be steps backwards that may or may not be able to be overcome.  By the way, she slept almost 10 hours last night. So sleep isn’t always the answer.

I haven’t, and won’t for a day or two, bring up CA again.  Let’s see if any memory is restored.

Also, I ended the last post writing about suicide. We’ve talked about it several times (not this trip) and she says she couldn’t do that to Abbey. However, when she’s in the throes of an ‘episode’, who knows what she’d be capable of.

We’ve both been reading but we’re about to get up and make a veggie quiche together to eat for dinner. It’ll be good on this 95 degree day!

The picture is Alene writing in her journal. Earlier today she called it her Memory Book. 🙂