Cushion Hiding

 Where do the day go?  We didn’t do much of anything and I think Abbey was going crazy because she’s got to be busy all of the time. She tried. We were going to take a walk to the local store, but DanaRiley was the smart one and turned around…it was too hot. 

Before we were going for this walk, Alene brought out her shoes to put on, and her wallet. Abbey and I watched Alene as she “hid” her wallet between the two cushions in the chair she usually sits in. She STUFFED it between those cushions until it couldn’t be seen. She put her shoes on and began looking for her wallet. We let her look in every room, cupboards and drawers until Abbey was vacuuming and lifted the side of the chair and said, “Mom, come look”. Alene didn’t remember right away putting it there, but later said she did remember, (not sure if I believe that). I asked her why she would put it between the cushions, and she said so no stranger could come in and get it. 

At least Abbey now knows another hiding place for things! Alene has a habit of hiding many things. It turns into a guessing game, and a frustrating one at that for Abbey.

Many repeated questions today: what day is it? When are you leaving Diane? Who are you going to see? Alene has a hard time understanding that I’m driving with two nights on the road without seeing friends or family. She has no concept of time or distance. Who are you going to see next? No one Alene. It’s just a stop on my way home. I tried showing her the map to no avail. It just doesn’t register in her dementia brain.  

Earlier today, Abbey and I tried to talk to Alene again about getting a “lift chair”.  I attempted to demonstrate how she gets out of a chair and our fear of her falling forward and hitting her head on something like a coffee table.  Alene got tickled and could only laugh, Abbey could only cry.  Abbey tried to explain to Alene her concerns and Alene had a retort for everything.  Then she said, put yourself in my shoes, “Here’s your car, but you can’t drive” or “Here’s the kitchen, but you can’t cook”.  

Abbey gave her examples of how she’s put herself and others in danger. It didn’t stick in her dementia brain. Aleme said she has to die someday and somehow.  It was still funny to her as she was telling Abbey not to cry. 

Again, Abbey just needs to stick to her guns and do what she knows is best for her mom and try not to take things personally. Easier said than done, I’m aware.

Every day, it’s an epiphany for me, in a very sad way. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been a wonderful experience for me in so many ways, especially spending fantastic time with Alene as well as getting to know Abbey and her family so much better and understanding their daily life trials and tribulations. I can’t begin to explain right now how much my heart hurts for everyone involved.  

It hurts too much. 😢

Today’s Ages:

Alene-78

Abbey-46 when we told her Abbey was 53, she said she looks pretty good for 53!

Doug-53 but may be a little bit older

Diane-49

DanaRiley-6 then 7 then 8





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