Michaela

Michaela, Alene’s oldest granddaughter, is 24 years old, and as I mentioned in a previous post, she’s an introvert, she’s brilliant and quite sarcastic 🙃. 

Michaela lives in the same house as Alene, Abbey and Doug, (and of course her dog, Ducky). She’s attending CU Anschutz Pharmacy school after completing her under grad at CSU. She says she studies, but I think she flies through her classes!  She just completed a rotation at an independent pharmacy where, despite what she may say, I think she learned a lot. 

In a previous post, I mentioned that Michaela came to my room the night before Alene and I left for this trip to CA. She sobbed on my shoulder. She obviously knows and understands that her Gram has dementia, but the things she’s witnessed, heard and been a party to, have destroyed her to her core. She’s been there for the times when Alene has gone a bit mad yelling at neighbors, Abbey and Doug and she and her sister, Kylie. While studying at home, she hears Alene on the phone (sometimes talking to me) telling untruths and with a purpose. Alene, while in an “episode”, has called her granddaughters bitches, sluts and whores—and won’t remember a word of it. 

Alene doesn’t remember, Michaela won’t forget. 

Michaela is reaching a point where she feels maybe her Gram may be better off not being alive. What kind of life does she have to look forward to? I told Michaela that I completely understand where she’s coming from. She witnesses her mom work so hard to please Alene and then get hurt with her actions and words. Alene has attempted to hit Abbey (maybe landed a slap or two) and Alene has attempted to jump out of the car while in motion among so many other things. Abbey never gives up and Michaela doesn’t totally understand why. I get it. She doesn’t want to see those she loves and lives with get hurt and she doesn’t want to get hurt herself anymore either. This is so very sad and an unfortunate result of this horrible disease. 

This morning I gave Alene her morning meds and as I was walking back to the kitchen, she said to Jeanne, “I don’t think I need to take these anymore.”  I stopped in my tracks!  Slowly, I turned around and gently asked her why not? She said she didn’t feel she needed them. I told her that she needs to keep in mind that the meds she takes help to keep her dementia at bay, that her condition would probably be worse if she didn’t take them. She contemplated for a few seconds and said, “Well then, I guess I better continue to take them.” Whew! Whatever the meds are, she definitely needs them, especially the anti-psychotic pill. I believe it helps prevent her from having dementia related “episodes”.  

Alene asked Jeanne if she wore hearing aids. Jeanne replied no and there was a pretty lengthy conversation about hearing aids that followed. Jeanne convinced her (maybe) to give them another shot but don’t let the audiologist get by with telling her it’s normal for them to hurt her ears, or “it just takes time”.  She should leave the office in no pain and be able to hear better. I seriously doubt that Alene will ever wear hearing aids regularly. She does not like them at all. 

After walking DanaRiley this morning and having a cup of coffee, I went to the grocery store for a few items before Alene was awake. I stopped by McDonald’s to get us each a breakfast sandwich, sausage egg McMuffins. You would’ve thought it was the best thing Alene has ever eaten! She verbally expressed how grateful she was for such a delicious meal and that she’d never had one before. I reminded her that we’d had one in Ogallala and two on the drive to California. She said “No!”  I nodded and said “We did.”

I told her she didn’t remember and that’s okay. I said it’s the dementia preventing her memory from pulling it up. 

She began to cry and I felt terrible. She knows she has dementia and knows it affects her memory because we’ve talked about it on different occasions. One day at the FF, we were discussing dementia when she said to remind her she has it if she forgets. I think this is the second or third time I’ve reminded her and I don’t believe I’ll do it again. 

Alene did enjoy touring Jeanne’s home again this afternoon with Jeanne’s detailed explanations of all the memorabilia and photos—what and who they are and where the items came from. 

It was a tough day for my sweet friend. 😢 She wasn’t herself tonight after having an embarrassing accident. She just crawled into bed and needs a good slumber. Hopefully we’ll have a fun beach trip together tomorrow! 

Jeanne and Alene