The Funny Farm 2024

After nearly 6000 miles (when I reach home on Friday in NC), touching 12 states on my journey, an average of 30 MPG, dozens of mosquito bites, a dog attack, driving across the Mojave desert in July - twice, the scorched weeds and tumbleweeds, the oppressive heat wave, so much laughter, quite a few tears, multiple frustrating moments, endless upon endless repeated questions, my epiphany experiences, times of frustration for both Alene and I, traveling with my 12 year old pup, DanaRiley across the country, Alene’s child-like joy of life’s simple things, her moments of clarity, her clear memories of the past, getting to know Abbey better, spending time with her family, and staying with my friend in CA, and especially the heartbreaking goodbyes this morning, this will be my final post on this Funny Farm 2024 blog. What a fantastic experience this has been for me. Thanks to everyone who has read this blog in whole or in part. It made it worthwhile.  My heart goes out to everyone who has, or

 Where do the day go?  We didn’t do much of anything and I think Abbey was going crazy because she’s got to be busy all of the time. She tried. We were going to take a walk to the local store, but DanaRiley was the smart one and turned around…it was too hot.  Before we were going for this walk, Alene brought out her shoes to put on, and her wallet. Abbey and I watched Alene as she “hid” her wallet between the two cushions in the chair she usually sits in. She STUFFED it between those cushions until it couldn’t be seen. She put her shoes on and began looking for her wallet. We let her look in every room, cupboards and drawers until Abbey was vacuuming and lifted the side of the chair and said, “Mom, come look”. Alene didn’t remember right away putting it there, but later said she did remember, (not sure if I believe that). I asked her why she would put it between the cushions, and she said so no stranger could come in and get it.  At least Abbey now knows another hiding place for things

We had an EXCITING excursion to Ogallala today!  We went to the sports complex and let DanaRiley run around the baseball field untethered.  She was a puppy again for a few short minutes. Abbey and Alene shopped for a few items at Walmart while I waited in the car with my pup; we got coffee and headed back to the FF. It doesn’t take much to amuse us! When we got home, Abbey bravely broached the subject again of home health care. Although Alene doesn’t want help, she did kind of agree to 4 hours a day. Now, if she’ll remember this…??? Who knows. Either way, it has to happen and it will be so much easier if she agrees to it.  She was even joking around when discussing the type of person she’d like to help, some of which I won’t repeat! 🤪 She did say “okay, if I can get a dog!”  Abbey said “what about Ducky?”  Alene said she wouldn’t do anything to hurt Ducky’s feelings. No dog for now. Alene has a constant need to be helpful and productive. She spent time in the garage, went out to use t

 Today, Sunday, started out to be a really hard day. Abbey began the tough conversation about bringing in a home health care aide for 4-5 hours a day when she goes back to teaching school August 1st. Alene vehemently denied she needs help, but, Abbey, through her tears, stuck to her guns. Alene begged for two weeks to prove she didn’t need help. I doubt she’ll remember the conversation tomorrow, but she was determined to prove her worth. She made several attempts to be productive this morning by going to the garage and trying to figure out where all the tools came from, etc. Abbey had to prove to her that the tools belonged to her dad, Alene’s husband Jerry. She wanted to cover a shelf in the garage with contact paper and ran out. She moved many things around so it made sense to her, but probably no one else.  There were tears flowing all around.  In my opinion, Abbey needs to stay with her plan and bring someone in. Alene should not be left alone for any length of time. Alene said “I

 Today was a rest day. Pretty uneventful except Abbey and I waded in Kylie’s Pink Flamingo in 100 degre temperatures!  I did about 30 minutes and she was outside for hours.  She’s a worker bee and can’t be still for very long. Let me tell you a bit about Abbey: She stays constantly busy doing something productive and it’s usually for someone else. She works hard and fast no matter what it is that she’s doing. She’s a school teacher and teaches mentally challenged youngsters every single day during the school year. She’s extremely organized and, from my perspective, she’d have to be to get accomplished the amount of things she does.  She LOVES her family and is a fiercely protective mama bear when it comes to Michaela and Kylie…even though they’re adults. They call to check in every day and to share their daily lives with one another. Abbey is loving and caring to her core. She would do just about anything for someone in her inner circle. She’ll do whatever she can for her mom, even if

 Oh, the gorgeous, majestic Rocky Mountains! We had a beautiful drive through Utah, but there’s nothing that compares to the glorious Glenwood Canyon and the views both east and west of the Canyon   Then we were just east of Vail, and were stopped for almost 3 hours because of a fatal accident on I 70. We were blessed because it happened just minutes ahead of us. By the time we reached Denver, we were in rush hour traffic. It’s all good though; almost 11 hours in the car to go 450 miles, and we’ve arrived at the FF safe and sound.  DanaRiley was a dream pup through it all.  Abbey had a delicious dinner ready and helped bring in the luggage, thank God!  She’s such a doll! Alene and I had a good time in the car today. She was interactive and very funny…that is until we got off I 70 and we’re on I 76 heading north to Nebraska - she seemed lost and very confused with still 3-4 hours to go.  She didn’t recognize any part of the drive (except the last 30 minutes) and kept saying she thought

Cousin Bernie, Alene and me Today was a better drive; it wasn’t as hot and it was much prettier because we drove through gorgeous Utah. The La Quinta we stayed in last night in St. George was great. They had several grassy areas for dogs and the room was very nice as was the front desk clerk. DanaRiley and I were able to get a nice walk in this morning before it got too hot. We were on the road by 8:30 am. We made only 3 or 4 stops today, one was in Richfield where we stopped at Walmart and then at a park. I did stop at a 7-11 because it is 7/11 and free Slurpee day!  However, they only had gross flavors and the ones that turn your mouth different shades of green and purple.  So I passed and eventually found Alene one of her favorite drinks, frozen coke. Much better! When we reached Green River, UT, I left a message for my cousin Bernie who lives in Grand Junction, our stop for the night. She met us at the hotel and visited with us for over an hour. That was very nice! …or was it The G

Final photo Before leaving CA Gas prices in Barstow   ‘Twas a long, very hot travel day. We left Jeanne’s about 8:15 and drove to Barstow for gas and another first—a sausage egg McMuffin! Next stop Las Vegas to feed and let DanaRiley out. I was desperate to find grass for her. I finally asked Siri to find me a dog park and there was one 7 miles behind us off the 15 freeway. I turned my car around and, SHIT, it’s in a gated community. I let her out under a tree and near some grass, but the sidewalk was very hot and the grass was artificial and that’s hotter than asphalt…my poor puppy. The name of the dog park was Fireman Park, so I thought there might be a fire station nearby, and yes there was! And, they had grass under a big tree. DanaRiley was able to pee and poop in 120 degree comfort.  The temperature was 100 before 9:00 am and between Barstow and Saint George, where we’re at for the night, it’s been between 115 and 120 degrees. This is brutal. The drive otherwise was fine. The str

Last full day in CA. There are so many things I absolutely love about California, the year round weather, the beauty of much of the state and of course the fabulous Pacific. I love Central CA and Northern CA very much as well. I lived here for more than 20 years, but I doubt very much if I’d ever move back. There are things that don’t work for me at this point in my life, the crazy politics, the traffic and the cost of living. We’ve been here 12 days and it really couldn’t have gone better. Jeanne and Alene became fast friends despite both of their concerns when planning the trip. Jeanne became an advocate for me (and Abbey) in talking to Alene about sensitive subjects. They both picked on me (in a loving manner) and Alene was a great listener when Jeanne discussed her medical issues among other things. Alene would forget and ask Jeanne a medical question and it would start all over again…and then again and again. I’m sure the same questions would be asked tomorrow and the next day if

Wheel of Fortune Pat Sajak Oceanside I love this picture! Today was a great day! Any day putting my feet in the sand and ocean, a cool breeze in the air, the marine layer hovering above, with my friend of 45 years by my side, is a beautiful experience.  Everything that happened yesterday that made it a very tough day, was long forgotten and never spoken about.  We headed to Oceanside and walked in the sand and watched the surfers claim the perfect waves for their ride. We headed south on Pacific Coast Highway to Carlsbad, went into a few shops and had a delicious lunch at a restaurant that’s been there as long as I can remember.  I then continued driving south through Leucadia and stopped in Encinitas at Moonlight Beach for a few minutes. We would have stayed awhile but the beach was quite crowded and so we turned north on I-5.  I asked Alene if she wanted to drop a few nickels in a slot machine and she said yes. I took her to Casino Pauma, one of the smallest Indian gaming casinos in

Michaela, Alene’s oldest granddaughter, is 24 years old, and as I mentioned in a previous post, she’s an introvert, she’s brilliant and quite sarcastic 🙃.  Michaela lives in the same house as Alene, Abbey and Doug, (and of course her dog, Ducky). She’s attending CU Anschutz Pharmacy school after completing her under grad at CSU. She says she studies, but I think she flies through her classes!  She just completed a rotation at an independent pharmacy where, despite what she may say, I think she learned a lot.  In a previous post, I mentioned that Michaela came to my room the night before Alene and I left for this trip to CA. She sobbed on my shoulder. She obviously knows and understands that her Gram has dementia, but the things she’s witnessed, heard and been a party to, have destroyed her to her core. She’s been there for the times when Alene has gone a bit mad yelling at neighbors, Abbey and Doug and she and her sister, Kylie. While studying at home, she hears Alene on the phone (so

Kylie, Alene’s youngest granddaughter, is a 22 year old ball of fire! She’s very outgoing and bubbly and brings out the best in all who are in her presence. She is smart, kind, funny and tough as nails. She worked her butt off to become a firefighter and she loves it! I have little doubt she’s very good at her job.  She moved out into an apartment of her own within the last year and is saving for her future.  She has an adorable boyfriend, Dom; they’ve been together 4 years I believe. Dom is training to be a firefighter also.   Kylie is very good to Alene, but Alene, when she’s been in an “episode”, has said very mean and hateful things to both Kylie and Michaela, let alone their mom, Abbey.  Alene remembers none of these things she’s said and is shocked when told.  Living out of the house, Kylie can now walk away if she chooses and often isn’t there now when things get ugly. I’m so happy she’s able to leave, she’s seen and heard enough of that.  This girl has her shit together!     To

I think this trip has stimulated Alene. She’s been very engaged in conversations with Jeanne and listens to Jeanne’s endless medical history and stories every day, most of them repeated over and over again. Yes, once in awhile, Alene will ask questions and make comments, which fuels Jeanne’s fire to talk and Alene’s need to be included. Jeanne has been so wonderful with Alene…very kind, attentive and patient.  Jeanne is feeling better today, she says she has a bit of a head cold and doesn’t want us to leave this weekend. So the plan is still to depart California on Wednesday.  We had a pretty quiet day here. It was 105 degrees this afternoon, (124 in Palm Springs!), so we spent time visiting and watching movies.  The subject of Dan the Mower Man came up a couple of days ago. Alene does remember that he’s not my favorite person because I feel he takes advantage of her. She laughs in a sinister manner and says, “Diane, you just don’t understand.”  She’s right, I don’t. Anyway, Jeanne has

Happy July 4th! It’s hard to believe that DanaRiley and I have been gone from NC for a month. I’m planning on us leaving California mid-week next week, probably Wednesday. That will give me a chance to get to the beach on Monday, pack the car and rest Tuesday so we can leave bright and early Wednesday. I’m not yet sure where we’ll stay the two nights on the road, but at least the first stop will be a hot one looking at the forecast.  Jeanne has a few nice coffee table books. One of them is a picture book (primarily) on JFK. Alene is mesmerised by this book. She’s gone through it every day, page by page, commenting on the photos she’s looking at, as she had the day before and the day before that.  JFK is her favorite president of all time. When I ask her why, her response is, “Because he was assassinated. He was too young.”  I’ve often wondered how he would have been judged as a president had he not been shot. Alene has one sibling, her sister Carol. They’ve been estranged for several y

This neighborhood Jeanne lives in is very nice and most residents appear to take very good care of their property. However, I think people store so much “stuff” in their garages, they can’t park in them so their cars are parked in the driveways and on the streets. As DanaRiley and I walk these streets, especially on our longer walks in the crisp mornings, I’ve paid particular attention to landscaping. There are many well manicured lawns with real grass like Jeanne’s. There are the drought tolerant lawns with artificial turf or many different colored rock lawns or bark lawns in many shades of brown. Then there are the  “scorched weed look” lawns. There aren’t a lot of these, but they are nasty. Of course, my favorite is the real grass. As I mentioned in a previous post, there’s very little grass in Vegas and for miles and miles surrounding Las Vegas. A friend of Jeanne’s who lives there, was paid by the city to replace her small patch of real grass in her front yard with something droug

When we were driving over the Rocky Mountains going downhill at 50-65 mph a few weeks ago, I noticed my car begin to shimmy and shake a bit. I wasn’t terribly concerned but it never left my mind. It never happened again in the mountains of Utah or the Baker Grade this side of Las Vegas or the Cajon Pass north of San Bernardino. I took my car in for an oil change today and mentioned it to them and they said it could be warped brake rotors due to excessive heat. It turns out my rotors are fine. I asked them to check the lug nuts and the balance of the tires. They’re keeping my car overnight to check those and a few other things just in case. I’m not terribly worried, but I will feel better to have these things checked out. I have not told Alene in the event she’ll hyper-focus on this, which is common for her and the last thing I need on the drive back.  I’m also getting my car detailed on Saturday.  A car drives so much better when it sparkles on the outside and is spotless inside! Jeann

Alene and Jeanne on the front porch.  “Diane, help me. How do I do this?” We went to breakfast this morning at the French Valley Airport Cafe. My brother, Leo, had flown his airplane into this small airport a few times.  The last time he did, it was the final time I flew with him before he died. He’s been gone 20 years this month. 😢 Alene insisted on paying for breakfast so when the check came, I suggested she use her credit card. I really don’t want her running out of cash. She said “okay “.  She pulled her wallet out of  her purse and couldn’t find her credit card. I told her it was with her license. Finally, she found it and handed both cards to me when she said “Diane, help me…”.  So we did the credit card transaction together. A couple hours later, she was making a purchase in a small store and she was paying cash. She was struggling, so I stepped in to help. She handed me all of the cash in her wallet to pay the clerk what was owed. Confusion had set in again.  We took a nice dr